The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”
Communication is important to express oneself to satisfy one’s need for connection. In our daily life, communication helps us build relationships by allowing us to share our experiences and needs, and helps us connect to others. It’s the essence of life, allowing us to express feelings, pass on the information and share thoughts. We all need to communicate. Imagine what life would be like without communication. It would be monotonous.
Communicating effectively fosters trust, enhances problem-solving[1] skills, and promotes emotional and social well-being. Being a good listener and using supportive language are the greatest ways to connect with someone dealing with mental health.
People communicate in different styles. These may include:
- Assertive communication: This style is the most effective communication. A person using this style is confident in their convictions and expresses themselves clearly and firmly.
- Aggressive communication: This style can be hostile and threatening. The content of the message is often lost because of the tone of delivery. As a result, belittled, steamrolled, and intimidated feeling is communicated, and it leads to conflicts and discomfort.
- Passive communication: This type is conflict-avoidant and easy-going, so the communicator is always happy. This may happen due to people-pleasing behavior as well.
- Passive-aggressive communication: As the name it suggests this style combines aspects of both passive and aggressive communication. The passive exists on the surface, while the aggressive simmers beneath. It is a form of an ulterior motive communication style.
- Manipulative communication: This style uses cunning influence to control the outcome of the conversation, and thus the actions of the people around them.
An individual who is mentally distressed in one way or the other finds it even more difficult to communicate their mental health needs. And if, while communicating, an individual is only listened to and not being heard, that makes it even more difficult to initiate reaching out next time. These individuals may engage in any of the above-mentioned communication styles other than assertive communication, consciously or unconsciously. Therefore, as a family, professional, friend, or even stranger, everyone should work on building their listening skills.
It is often seen that individuals often try to be under a shell, avoid communicating, and has poor relationships with others if they are not feeling okay. This, of course, can be tackled through kindness and compassion; by providing support and listening ears to the individual and ensuring that they are aware that they are loved and cared for.
In relationships, communication allows one to explain to someone else about their experiences and their needs. The act of communicating not only helps to meet the needs, but it also helps to be connected to each other. This is why effective communication is very important in relationships. Effective communication also helps in:
- Strengthening the relationship
- Avoid misunderstanding, and
- Build trust
If effective communication does not take place, it can lead to miscommunication, which can further lead to discords in relationships. Miscommunication then becomes a very hurtful and undesired element in any relationship and impacts the individuals involved in a negative manner. To avoid miscommunication, one can:
- Pause and think before speaking
- Being clear, direct, and assertive about their needs
- Keeping calm, and
- Update vocabulary to be able to find the best possible words to express oneself.
Miscommunication may also occur due to some barriers to communications and comprehension between two parties. A communication barrier is anything that comes in the way of receiving and understanding messages that one sends to another to convey his ideas, thoughts, or any other kind of information.
As much as communication is important, so is comprehension. One cannot just continue making an effort to interact and reach out if the receiver does not want to understand. The word ‘comprehension’ means the ability to understand what one listens to or reads. Sometimes, comprehension is more important than communications itself. A person can prepare their message and polish it to the best of their ability, but if the other party doesn’t comprehend what was being conveyed, the communications fails. This also leads to miscommunication.
The best way to work through miscommunication and conflicts due to ineffective communication is definitely patience and kindness. These are the foundational grounds of any relationship. If a relationship lacks empathy, compassion, and regard, it may lead to disturbed and unhealthy relationships. Therefore, as humans, we all must make a conscious effort to try to understand, even if we feel misunderstood.
Further, negotiation can be effective as well. If there is a disagreement, all involved parties must address it and come to a common ground regarding it. Else, disagreements ultimately would lead to a lot of discomforts, and ultimately disconnection.
Healthy communication and comprehension, packed with empathy, unconditional positive regard, kindness, etc. are the key ingredients of a healthy relationship. This also fosters healthy socio-emotional development of individuals.
Read our Article: The Power of Words: Fostering Effective Communication in Students
